I just realized in looking at my calendar that, as of this last Thursday (June 19), I have been living in Portland for a year. Wow. It sure doesn't feel like that long. On the other hand, in some ways I feel like I've been here my whole life. Granted, I still don't know my way around and I haven't been to a quarter of the nifty little places or local attractions that I should, but it definitely does feel like home. I've heard that Portland can do this to people. :)

Looking back on my "year off," I see a lot of change. Changes in location, jobs, hobbies, relationships, and huge changes in my priorities and my attitude toward life. I didn't really know what I wanted to acheive by taking time off, but whatever it is, I feel like I'm at least a few steps further along my path. My palm was briefly read this afternoon by a morris-dancing palmist friend, and she came up with some things that really resonated with my life, my feelings, and especially related to this last year. Among many other things, she said that my life line is not grounded, which means that I'm still up in the air with where I want to be in my life, and am constantly turning the next corner (and I have lots of corners) and finding challenge after challenge. And that my lesson to learn in this life is that of standing in my own power. Wow. Yeah. That hit the spot.

So with that in mind (and the Tom Petty lyrics "I'm taking control of my life right now" playing right on cue) I suppose now is as good a time as any to give some answer to the question I've been asked by so many this year, and increasingly often the last couple of months. I'll leave the over-arching question of "What do you want to do with your life" for another time (I don't think any of you actually expect an answer to that from me any time soon) and address the more immediate and specific question of "Are you coming back to Stanford in the fall?" No, I am not. I haven't figured out yet exactly what is right for me to do at this stage in my life, but I have figured out that Stanford isn't the right place for me to be. I think I've known this for quite a while, but it's been hard letting that grow from a gut feeling to an actual concrete decision. It's that "standing in your own power" thing. I'm working on it. Anyway, I can still take up to one more year's leave of absence and go back any time if I change my mind (it just gets harder after that because you have to apply for re-entry). So for those of you who are concerned about that sort of thing, you don't have to think of it as "dropping out." I'm working on finding somewhere else to finish up some sort of education, but more than that I'm just sort of letting things play themselves out and watching what happens. I'm not really in a hurry to figure things out. I'm pretty happy where I am in life right now, so I'd like to enjoy it for a while before rushing on to goodness-knows-what. Maybe my life line will find some foundations along the way.